In my new work life as an entrepreneur I think I’ve experienced both types of fears since I decided to start my consulting business and launch my career as a professional speaker almost three years ago. At first, I experienced the loneliness that entrepreneurs go through when you leave your team behind and start your company—on your own. There is no assistant to help you with the administrative duties and there is no senior leadership team to bounce ideas off of. There is the fear of not producing enough money to meet your financial needs and there is also the fear of rejection. You wonder, “What if no one needs me?” “What is nobody cares about what I do?” and “What if no one sees the value I offer with my services and experience?”
As time goes by, I will forever be grateful to the first few customers who believed in me and gave me the opportunity to be of service. When you fast forward to several months down the road and you see the fruit of your labor realized, it boosts your self-esteem as an entrepreneur. You start having positive thoughts like, “Maybe this will work.” “I think they found me valuable.” “I think this business idea is finally working!” “I think my audience really enjoyed having me.” Now I find myself transitioning from having fear of failure to experiencing the fear of success. My new thoughts are now, “What is this business actually takes off and I’ll be so busy that I won’t know what to do?” “What if I lose my life balance I’ve worked so hard to achieve?” What if I get so stressed out that I lose my peace?”
From the spiritual perspective, I fear not having enough time to spend with the Lord. I fear not being able to give of my time to ministries that need my help. I’m fearful of missing opportunities to spend time with my husband and the rest of my family because there is too much work to get done. I’ve experienced all these things before when I had “a job” and “a career” that was so demanding of my time, energy, and brain power. Each day after an entire day of working at the bank I would come home completely depleted of everything. I had nothing left to give. Many days I couldn’t even make a simple decision as to what to have for dinner so I wouldn’t eat. I was “decision-ed out,” if you can say it that way. I was emotionally exhausted from working in Corporate America. Don’t take me wrong. I truly enjoyed my entire banking career and the five years I worked in ministry. I experienced joyful years and felt fulfilled as an executive and as a leader. Nevertheless, all of that came with a price—lack of time with family, physical exhaustion, and emotional stress.
I think it’s interesting that both failure and success can actually have similar consequences in your life. You can lose your relationships, your marriage, your home, and even your relationship with God in both cases. Both failure and success have the power to destroy your life. It is, therefore, your choice on how you will handle either as you may experience both situations throughout the course of your life. But when you choose to walk your journey along with God, you will experience a peace that surpasses all understanding and you can choose life as the Bible tells us to do.
Philippians 4:7 (NLT) Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Deuteronomy 39:19 (NLT) Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!
With the thirty one years of working experience that I now have under my belt, I finally understand what people mean when they say, “I’ve been around the block.” I feel I have been around the block at least once if not twice. I now know the dangerous of working so hard as well as the positive consequences. I now know the positives and negative feelings of working alone. But most importantly, I now know how crucial it is to hang on to God regardless of my work situation. He is my provider. He is my comforter. He is my companion. He walks with me daily as I make my decisions. I depend on Him completely to send me the right customers and the right speaking engagements where I will make an impact in people’s lives. I also depend on my husband and consult with him on all my business decisions because it is our business. He is very wise and God uses my husband to give me guidance and also to help me balance my life.
I know I can be very successful and I will not hold back anymore. I will let God guide me every step of the way. I know that when we have a thankful heart, God protects us from becoming prideful because we remember that we are nothing without God. I know that when we give out of our abundance—and even out of sacrifice—we don’t develop an attachment to material possessions. I know that when we have our priorities straight putting God first, then our families, and then our work, God helps us to live a more balanced life. I will follow my own teachings and what I know is right. I will let God use me for His purposes and will be set free. I will not hold back. It will be an amazing journey to see what God has in store for me in all areas of my life. I trust Him with all my heart.
I will leave you with this Scripture today:
II Timothy 1:7 (NLT) For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.